Another unexplained phenomenon…..

The other day, I was reading about the phenomenon called….well it's not a named phenomenon yet, but it's quite prevalent and most of us agree that it exists. It is about Women loving "Bad Guys" and not the "Nice Guys".

Interesting topic, I thought, and went on to do some secondary research (well, I'm pretty vella these days)….and found out quite a few interesting insights:

• The basic premise of this phenomenon comes from the inherent 'Motherly' instincts of women/girls. They tend to think that taking a 'strayed' man under their wings, and transforming them is their life's prime agenda.
  
• Feminists may balk at this, but women tend to be gluttons for punishments, and unknowingly revel in being the 'Underdog'. They tend to stick around with men who look down upon them, even who are violent, and will stand up beside their man if someone tries to 'rescue' them.
  
• The romanticization of the 'Bad Guy', since time immemorial, creates an inherent desire within women to be seen as the 'Arm Candy' of the man of the moment.
  
• Let's face it, nice men traditionally have not been in the spotlight, even though we may like to believe that they are the eventual 'winners', and that the lady will ultimately walk into the sunset with them. This is, more often than we would like to believe, not the case.
  

I also talked to a few of my female friends on this, and here are a few of their responses:

• "We do like nice guys; the problem is that too many men think of themselves as being 'nice' and the other guy being the 'Bad Guy'."
  
• "All the nice guys are either taken or gay. A girl's gotta eat…."
  
• "The so called 'Nice Guys' do not know how to handle a relationship."
  

There was only one common facet to all the responses that I got, not one denied that women are attracted to the 'Bad Guy', instead most of my friends tried to either skirt the issue, or give reasons which appear laughable at best. Agreed, almost all of them are successful in their own right, and the cohort was not exactly ideal for the feedback I was looking for, but still, their responses were a dead give-away that that the phenomenon is not something which happens occasionally, but pretty frequently, even in our own circles, even if we don't really pay attention.

• In school, a friend of mine (Lets call him Sameer) had a serious infatuation on a classmate of his (Lets call her Sarita). Sarita was dating this guy (Lets call him Cretin :P ), who was well known as the brat of the class. Sarita considered Sameer her good friend, but that was it, she made it abundantly clear that she had no romantic inclination towards him. One day, Sameer overheard Cretin talking lewdly about his relation with Sarita to a few of his friends. Worried, he took this up with Sarita, and implored her to break it off with Cretin, even if she did not want to be with him. Sarita, smitten as she was, told Cretin the entire episode, who denied the entire thing, and said that Sameer was jealous, and wanted her to think badly of him. I was shocked when I discovered that Sarita, who was also a good friend of mine, took Cretin on his word, and reprimanded Sameer, and told him that she didn't want to be his friend anymore. I don't know what happened with Sarita & Cretin or with Sameer for that matter, after this incident.
• A good friend of mine recently told me an incident involving another friend of hers, whom I did not know at that point. Apparently she was madly in love with a guy, who was pretty good looking and brilliant at academics to boot. But when she expressed her love for him, he insulted her with extremely blunt statements which were in extreme bad taste. I was shocked at the appalling behavior of this person. A few weeks later, my shock knew no bounds when my friend told me that her friend still had not got over that guy, and still laid out the red carpet for him whenever they came across each other.
• Another incident involved a very close friend of mine, who had a long and tumultuous relationship with a guy during graduation. She broke it off with him, on discovering that he had been nefarious and unfaithful in the relationship, only to get back together after 3 years, when he apologized for his behavior, and told her that he wanted to marry her. They got married, and I came to know, much to my shock, that 6 months into their marriage, they had filed for a divorce, and that she had been a victim of domestic violence and adultery.
  

All these women, one might think of as losers and one-off cases. But the truth is quite on the contrary, these women are successful career women (I don't know about Sarita, as mentioned above), wonderful people otherwise, and strong in their belief system. They also, always had the option of going for a 'Nice Guy', as I know people who would have given their tooth and nail to be with these women, and love them to no measure, but somehow, that did not work out. Why they so failed in the above mentioned situations, fails my understanding, and leaves me as baffled as I can get.

After trying very hard to understand why this happens, I have reconciled that this will be, for a substantial time atleast, another thing whose understanding will elude me, and leave my brains addled whenever I come across an incident of this nature.

All I think I can say is, "Women of the world, be more appreciative of the nice guys around you, they are becoming an increasingly rare breed, and the reason might be you, for the simple economic principle of Demand and Supply works here too. The high 'Demand' for 'Bad Guys' is forcing these nice people to change their allegiance….."

This post is not meant to malign or entice anyone, but simply to induce thought. I am also sorry for my friends, whose stories I have used here without their permission, but I hope it is not too apparent so as to identify them.

Save Our Tigers | Join the Roar

Title: Save Our Tigers | Join the Roar
Link: http://gotaf.socialtwist.com/redirect?l=-517250362568021478221

Are our Leaders really a Reflection on our Society?

As our country once again witnesses the Dance of Democracy, electing its representatives for another term in the Lok Sabha, one cannot help but wonder whether our representatives truly are a reflection of who we are. Does Sonia Gandhi really represent the poor farmer in Rae Bareli, or is Advani a true representation of the vibrant and cosmopolitan Ahmedabad/Gandhinagar.

Aristotle once said, 'A society is not just a collection of Humans, but is another being, with its own Body and thought, independent from its constituent beings'. I firmly do believe in his words and I trust that who the members of a society choose as their leaders, do not necessarily reflect the characteristics of the society itself. My root assertion is in the fact that nowhere, never does a society really 'chooses' its leaders. Even in the most perfect of democratic societies, leaders evolve, and, to say crudely, are thrust upon the rest of them.

As much as we would like to believe that leaders are 'elected, not selected', I think, we all know that a society never has full, or sometimes even a little control over who will lead them. Leaders are naturally selected. We can even apply Darwin's assertion here. It is more or less a process of natural selection. The men and women, who have the talent of charisma, and the willpower to decide for the masses, are naturally predisposed to lead their fellow people, who have no way but to give in to their natural instincts and follow the 'chosen ones'. Choice rarely, if ever plays a role in the populace selecting their leader.

If one really intends to understand the character of a society, there is no worse a way to do so than examining the character of its leaders. It is like saying that a human being is defined by just his/her brains, and nothing else. We all know that not to be true. To characterize a society, one needs to study the individuals that make it up, and the interactions between them, something which we like to call culture. Culture in a society can be seen as analogous to connective tissue in a human body, an amalgam of behaviour and beliefs that hold the individuals in a society together. I understand that what I have said may be very difficult, even impossible to do, but that is how understanding the character of a society is. Brilliant minds have spent years and decades trying to do so, and are yet to come to a satisfactory answer. And hence, I assert once again, saying that one can understand a society's character simply by studying its chosen leaders, is like saying that one can tell what a person is like, just by looking at the anatomy of his or her brain.

The Children of Recession

Its 6 AM, and I am packing. I am packing for my final journey from IIML, into the real world, into the professional arena, where there will be no one to look after us, and it will be baptism by fire. I am overcome by such emotions, when I suddenly spot something sitting on the top shelf of my cupboard. It is an unopened bottle of fine "Moēt-Chandon" Champagne. I requested Chitta to bring it when he was on a trip to NY. I had imagined we all would celebrate with this once all of our gang got jobs.

Well, it is almost 45 days since it has been sitting o the shelf, with 5 of my best friends yet to be placed. I read in the newspapers everyday as to how the recession is affecting people across the globe, and it reminds me of the time when the dot com bubble had burst, how thankful I had felt not be in the eye of the storm. Well, the second time is not so lucky. Here I am, with all my classmates here at L and other B-Schools of the world, standing in the midst of what is being termed the worst economic downturn ever.

However, it is not a feeling of resentment, or of helplessness, that has overcome me, it is of anger. Anger at the way we are being treated, anger at the liberties firms are taking at our expense. Even if I have a job, and arguably one of the best on offer, I still am bursting with anger at the way my buddies are being treated. The cream of the country is being treated like dirt, and like some cheap, poor hooker, they suit up every morning, go to see n number of processes, only to return dejected and distraught in the end. The next day is the same ordeal all over again.

Let me justify my anger by illustrating one incident which happened not so long ago, right here at L. A particular company, which normally is not welcome at even B-Grade schools, let alone the IIMs, was on campus to hire, and had proudly proclaimed that it is looking at a large number of candidates, and that it will offer meaty roles, but had declined to disclose the salary structure. It shortlisted everyone who had applied, and mapped out a lengthy recruitment process, much to the chagrin of the PCom, who are bunking their classes to help us get placed. After running the process for more than 15 hours, the firm told the PCom representative that they, "sadly" could not find anyone who was a "fit" for them, and so did not make any offers. One of my colleagues heard the guys from the company laughing and commenting, "Serves them right, they never let us in, now it is us who kicked them out."

Well, sir, I have only one thing to say, the IIMs are a giant, they may falter and occasionally even fall down, but they will always dust themselves up and walk like the giant they always were. And if you decide to take a swing at us when we are down, Sir, you are in for a surprise as to how resilient we, the Children of Recession, can be.

All this, reminds me of a poem I had written a few years back, which is apt for the IIM Student, Class of 2009, the Child of Recession

Fighting crying eyes

Look deeper than I might

Break away the sad mind

Feel the force behind

The fighting crying eyes

Sadness no more

Fight back and galore

Time for annihilation

Some kind of war

Fighting the crying eyes

Mine is the face of rebel

Crushing the devil

Rising above the hell

Fighting the crying eyes

No more, No more

Tears no further

Rock in my blood

Rock in my heart

Rocking the messed up

Fighting the depression

Always I am the rock

Always I am the rock

Fighting

Fighting

Fighting the crying eyes

Iron addled my brains, in a good way....

The “Iron Curtain” was a figure of speech used by Winston Churchill (well, actually Joseph Goebbels, but let us not indulge in nitpicking), to describe the parting of ways between the communist bloc of eastern European nations from their western counterparts. Apart from the political and military differentiation, something else happened, something which has resulted in something good for all of us visiting Europe post the communist meltdown. These newly capitalist nations have developed slightly differently from their western buddies. They retain their mysticism, unlike the crass commercialization in France and Italy. Also, there is an aura attached to these nations, one of adventure, mainly because they were largely inaccessible to tourists only a decade and a half back. I, happened to visit a few of these countries and I was fascinated. The people are friendlier than the rest of Europe, and not nearly as anal.
The countries I toured were Czech Republic, Slovakia, Hungary, Slovenia and Poland… And of course, Berlin, from East Germany, formerly the GDR. Prague is by far the most beautiful city in the whole of Europe, Budapest the grimiest and liveliest, Bratislava the cheapest and quirkiest, Ljubljana the cutest, and Krakow and Zakopane with the most history and adventure in them, respectively. And of course, Berlin has its wickedness to cash for. The point is, each of these cities has a lot of character, and somehow are stuck between the principles of socialism, and the good life that the newly found capitalist way of life offers. Amazing experiences each one of them, including the road trip to Poland in an Opel Zafira, they have certainly modified my “30 things to do before 30”.

There is a voice ringing in my head right now…. “Must visit Russia, must visit Ukraine, must visit Belarus, must visit all the other SSR countries….”… should I? Or rather can I?

Getting Lost in Brussels...

From the time I landed in Brussels, I am in love with this city, and Europe in general. The weather is so awesome, the streets, well not so clean, the people so friendly....and the chicks!!! For the past three days, I have been roaming around Brussels, mostly on foot, and its been an amazing experience. We saw the Palais de Royale (Royal Palace), Grote Plce (Grand Place), Victory Gate/Triumphal Arch (which is right beside where we stay BTW), and the most impresive, the Atomium and Mini Europe. To the exchange students who wish to visit Brussels, here is an Itinerary i woud suggest,

• After getting down at Brussels Central Station (Gare Du Centraal), take the metro line 1A to Heyzel from Centraal Station. Atomium and Mini Europe are right by the Heyzel station. One trip ticket on the Metro costs 1/70. Mini Europe entry fee is 12/36 per peson, but do not miss it cuz of the high cost, its awesome. Atomium is impressive only from the outside. It is a relic of the 1958 world fair, and do not spend 9/00 going inside.
• Opposite the Atomium is the Belgique Congres (Seat of the Belgian Government). Its an impressive building with beautiful gardens.
• From there, take the metro back to Centraal Station, get out towards Hotel Le Meridien, cross the underpass, turn right and you are in the Grote Place MArket. Explore this area on foot. The De Villa Place (A pentagon surrounded by medieval buldings) is the most impressive sight here. Look for the Manneken Pis (Brussels' Icon), which is pretty small and hence tough to find. It is on the crossing between Rue de l'Étuve & Eikstraat. If you cant figure out, ask, everyone is more than willing to help out.
  
• On the diaonally opposite side of the grand place is the Jeanekke Pis, the female equivalent of Manneken Pis. Its tougher to find as it is less famous. It is on a blind alley to the north of Rue De Bouchers.
• The Palais Du Royale is a 20-25 minutes on foot from the Grand Place. It is the earstwhile residence of the Belgian Royal Family.
  
• After you are satisfied exploring the Grand Place, take the metro to Merode (this is where we stay). Immediately outside the station is the Triumphal Arch (very similar to the Bradenburg Gate in Berlin), also called Parc du Cinquantenaire. It is surrounded by the beautiful Jubilee Parc, and a couple of meuseums incuding Autoworld, Military Meuseum, Temple of Human Passions Etc.

And of course, do not forget to taste some of the famous Belgian Beer, waffles and of course the Pralines (Belgian Chocolates).
Am waiting for more people to fall in love with this beautiful city's character, where even the poshmost of cars stop and signal you to cross the road before they drive on!!!

This one, just cuz' you asked me too....

It was just another normal class, though not entirely at that. It was Prof Himanshu Rai's class, so something HAD to happen. He began auctioning a hundred rupee note, asking for bidders at various prices. THere were a lot of us, till he reched a price of Rs100. Even though, one of us persisted. In fact, he was ready to buy the note even at Rs 110. It was then that Prof Rai shot his now fammous one liners....
"Are you buying this at a high price just because it was touched by ME???"
And the worst wasn't over, it was then that Prof Rai turned to m and said, in the most mischievous of tones... "THis is another one for your blog, Abhinav."... referring to the guffaws post of mine earlier....
Well... this one is for you sir....